Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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