I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Randomize
