So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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