I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
