i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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