Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
