Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
Randomize
