People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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