This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
