Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
birth control should be required to get into college
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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