i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
bring money and cleavage
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
