"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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