Pants 0. Shit 1.
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
barbara walters just said penis...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's a Shit stain on my heart
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
Randomize