i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
