i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize