Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
