It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
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