the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
