Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Randomize
