Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
