Christians are straight up FREAKS
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
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