gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
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