On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I need moral support for this bender
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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