Someone shit on the floor
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
