I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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