Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize