I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
