you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
