I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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