I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
So I just walked into the bathroom, and there was this kid, talking to his mom, while taking a shit. I flushed the toilet next to him and heard him say into the phone, "No, I'm not. I'm in my dorm."
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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