I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
You were trust falling into bushes
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
