I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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