how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
