I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
