i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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