Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
