Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
