Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
