I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Randomize
