You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
