champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
The air was thick with penises
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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