Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
