tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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