He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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