when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
