Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
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