ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
