Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Farmville is her only friend.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
You threw up with such class too! Tiara and all.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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