Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Randomize
