My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
