i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
