I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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