I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
