Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
She was trying to be sexy well putting on my condom with her mouth when her cat pounced from the corner of the room witch caused her to gasp and inhale the condom
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
