guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
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