my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
organizing the empties. That sober.
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize
