I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Happiness is watching your asshole boss' police DUI video.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
