wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Randomize
